Tag Archives: school

The Bane of My Existence

9 May

Group projects.

And by “group” projects I mean “I-do-all-the-work-because-everyone-else-is-a-lazy-turd” projects. It happens every time. I can’t tell if I’m actually the only responsible one in the group, or if everyone else just knows I’m going to finish everything by myself anyway.

Do you know how many all-nighters I’ve pulled this semester? Six. That’s six too many. Granted, three of those were my own fault for solo projects, but still. I’ve noticed a pattern with these things. Most groups have one or two lazy kids who inevitably get away with doing nothing. Then there’s the one person in the group who you think is smart and will probably do their fair share of the work, but bails on you at the last minute. And then there’s me, the poor sap who gets stuck fixing everyone else’s mess and doing four times the work because I can’t stand to turn in something that isn’t the best in the class. Maybe it’s because I’m Indian.

Either way, I am currently in the middle of the second worst project I’ve done all semester. I got stuck making a movie with three dudes in my filmmaking class. Can you imagine? Little, tiny, conservative me, alone with a gross spoiled brat hipster with long hair, a dude who pretends to be a thug even though he grew up in the suburbs, and… some white guy who’s actually normal. Go figure.

The problem is the hipster guy is trying to take control of the project even though I wrote the script and mapped out the entire film. Of course I don’t trust him, because he hasn’t handed in a single assignment on time, but he insists on being in charge. He’s not even good at filming! He’s horrible, even. But he thinks he knows better than me.

Let me tell you, there are few things more obnoxious than a hipster with a camera. At least when I’m pushy we actually get work done. This guy spent two hours trying to figure out how stage lighting works. I was at his house ALL DAY and we hardly got anything done. And you know, boys aren’t nice like girls are. They don’t stop to offer you water and order pizza even though you’ve been filming for five hours on an empty stomach.

Moral of the story: Don’t be a hero. Be the kid that gets away with doing nothing.

Last day of school

9 May

Today was my last day of school! I had one exam today and now I’m DONE. I had two projects due over the weekend and a ton of stuff to do and zero motivation to do it. I personally would like to blame the internet. And then there was a whole fiasco with turning in a group project and one of my partners not getting anything done. But I won’t get into that because its stresses me out just thinking about it.

Still, its a miracle that I’ve even made it to this point. I survived an entire year of college. Lord knows how that happened. There’s been a lot of ups and downs this year and it definitely was nothing like I had hoped or expected it to be. I was under a lot of stress, dealing with my grandmother’s sudden passing, and struggling emotionally. Its like everything that hadn’t mattered in high school suddenly mattered now. I cared about experiences I didn’t have, and ones that I didn’t want, and somehow it led to me feeling sorry for myself for a long time. First semester was fine, second semester was an emotional rollercoaster. My experience wasn’t all bad, but it definitely wasn’t the college experience I wanted. Or maybe it just wasn’t the life experience I had wanted.

I didn’t get live I’m a dorm like all my friends got to. To be quite honest I was always jealous when they told me stories about their room mates or how they go hang out around campus at night and I’d be stuck at home with my parents and my teddy bear. To be fair they never rubbed it in my face and they all did their fair share of complaining about the food or the roommates or whatever, but as a homely desi girl who wants nothing more than to move out the house (freedom), I couldn’t help but feel jealous. Being stuck living with your parents at a time when you’re supposed to be an “adult” and go on adventures and have fun is like a slap in the face. I can’t do anything. The one time I tried to go downtown with my friend, my mom yelled and me and now I’ll never hear the end of it. Well excuse me for trying to have some fun.

The other downside to commuting is that its so hard to make friends. I met a few people in my classes, but its not easy to meet people. I think it might be because I hate girls. Its very easy for me to make a lot of “guy friends” (probably because of my crude sense of humor and sloppy sense of style) but I have the hardest time finding girls to be friends with. I just don’t like girls. They’re so catty and and annoying and I have nothing in common with them. They’ve got boyfriends and they drink and they care about how they look and I’m just over here like “das cool. I have a blog…”

It wasn’t all bad, though. I’ve got my fair share of stories and adventures, but I think the biggest thing that happened this year is that I am not the same girl I was on the first day of school. I think I’ve definitely matured since then, but there are also new things that I need to work on. I’m in a completely different place emotionally than I was last year. I think I was definitely a lot happier when school ended last year. That’s not to say that I’m not happy at all now, but last year marked the end of four years of a lot of ups and very few downs and ended on a high note. I was happy to be done with it and move on.  This year marks the end of one “meh” year and it didn’t end on any note. Its done and now I don’t know what to do with myself.

But, if I learned anything from highschool, its that it gets better as it progresses. You meet new people, you figure out where you fit it, you find a favorite spot to eat lunch, and you figure out what works for you. I’ve already learned where the best place to sit on the train is, and where to take the best instagram pictures, and hoew early i need to get to the library to sit in the good chair.

I have a history of poorly adjusting to new surroundings, and I feel like that played a huge part in all this. But, inshallah, next year will be a lot better.

Moral of the story: You can plan and plan and plan, and daydream all you want but sometimes, as painful as it may be, life isn’t going to go the way you want it. Because you can’t control when people leave your life or when they enter it, and you can’t control everything around you, and sometimes someone else makes decisions for you and you can’t control that either. Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it and have faith that you’re going to get to where you want to be eventually. Life is hard and stressful and sometimes everything happens too much but that’s just life.

How to be Happy

16 Mar

Look, I am not an expert on this subject. In fact I’m last person you want advice from (even though I will more than willingly offer it to you). But I feel like I’ve figured a lot out in the past week. And after reading some of the things that other people have been writing on this site, I think it’s only fair that I share it with you.

For the past few months I’ve been unhappy. I wasn’t satisfied with any aspect of my life, I got jealous extremely easily, and I was struggling with controlling my emotions, specifically anger. I had convinced myself that none of this was any of my fault, and it was due to the fact that I had something wrong with me. I spent months taking online quizzes trying to “diagnose” myself with who knows what in order to find some sort of explanation, some sort of excuse for feeling so bad, for acting so bad. I convinced myself I had all sorts of problems. This went on for a while until I had a few rough weeks in a row.

And then one day I got into an argument with my mom and it was like a dam burst. There was a lot of crying and screaming, and then there was talking. I told my mom things that I’d been wanting to tell her for ages, but had held back for whatever reason. It was a conversation that had been long overdue, but seemed to be the solution to most of my problems. I made changes after that conversation.

After reading what other’s had to say about their own unhappiness, whether they thought it was because of boys, or parents, or friends, I encourage you to try a few things that helped me. I know they seem stupid or maybe hard to do or maybe even seem like they won’t help at all, but they’ve helped me a lot.

1. Pray.

If there is one tip that you take away from this post I’d like it to be this. Praying helps whether you want to admit it or not. Just try it. I will be the first to admit that I wasn’t praying as much or as well as I should have been. In the back of my mind I knew that this was a huge part of my problem. I understood the power of prayer and I know how much it can help. And literally the minute I started putting in extra effort, things started to get better. No matter what religion you are, God is listening to you. Don’t underestimate His mercy. Allah (swt) says: “Take one step towards me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you.” Hadith Qudsi.

2. Be willing to change/Trying

I know you think you aren’t the problem. Maybe you aren’t the problem. But the fact of the matter is that if the people around you aren’t will to change then it’s going to have to be you. I’m not saying you have to do something drastic. I made little changes. They were things that I didn’t even realize would make an impact but they helped so much. Like praying more. Or finding another way to deal with your anger. It was very small things. They were things that I wasn’t willing to do before, but I honestly feel like praying helped me do it. You have to be willing to try. It’s going to take effort, of course, but nothing happens without effort. You have to try.

3. Talk about it.

Whether you want to blog about it, or vent to your friends, or your sibling, or write it down in a journal, just get it out of you. Keeping things bottled up is never good. I kept keeping things inside and every once in a while I’d break down over something small. Having all these things in the back of my mind enabled even the tiniest thing to set me off, which only led to more problems.

If you want to go the extra step, talk to the person you have a problem with. This is probably the hardest step. It takes the most effort and the most courage. But most of the time they don’t even know they’re hurting you. And if you explain to them exactly how you feel and they still don’t want to help you, then they aren’t worth your time. That’s the hard part. You need to learn to stop caring about people who don’t care about you.

4. Get rid of everything that makes you upset.

For me this was mostly social networking. I hated seeing everyone’s great vacation pictures, or hearing what awesome things they did that I’d never get to do, or the fancy restaurants they got to eat at, or even just the fact that they got out of the house. And more than that, I hated seeing how many likes and comments they were getting. It made me sad and jealous and I felt pathetic. So I decided it was something I didn’t need in my life; I got rid of it. But for you this may be a bad relationship, a bad job, or even where you live. Do something about it.

5. Do things that make you happy.

I feel like this is something we forget to do. We get caught up in just trying to survive and get through our day or even our year, and we forget what’s important. We need to do what makes us happy because if we don’t, what do we have to look forward to? You need something to keep you going. For me this meant deciding to switch majors. Accounting was something I just couldn’t picture myself doing, and it was something I picked for the sake of picking a major. I didn’t know what I wanted to do or how to get to where I wanted to be so I picked a career at random. The result was classes I wasn’t interested, which led to bad grades, and me being miserable. I wasn’t excited about school, or the future, and I just don’t think that’s how it should be. And ever since I decided that this wasn’t what I want to do with my life, I’ve been more driven to do something different. My grades have gotten better because of it.

6. Stay busy/ have distractions.

Don’t give yourself a chance to focus on what’s bothering you. I’ve had a very busy week, and somehow that’s actually helped me. I didn’t have time to dwell on what was bugging me, if there even was anything. I had things to do and places to go and people to see and I wasn’t left alone in my room all day and it helped. I wasn’t focusing on myself. I had to help my mom around the house and make phone calls and meet people and I had other people to worry about. It was good.

7. Understand that you can’t control everything, but deciding to do nothing and hoping things will magically get better isn’t going to work either.

I spent so many months sitting on my butt and hoping other people and things would change so I wouldn’t have to. It didn’t work. I feel like the problem with people who are sad or unhappy is that they don’t do anything about it. I know it’s something that’s annoying to hear and hard to imagine, but it’s completely true. Tell that person how you feel, quit that job, delete that facebook account, or even move somewhere else. You just need to put in the effort.

Moral of the story: You’re never going to be happy until you figure out what makes you happy and try to work towards it.


19 Feb

Well this is awkward.

Hi. I’m baaaaaack. Didya miss me? Of course you didn’t. But now I’m back whether you like it or not so tough biscuits. I have no idea how long it’s been since I last posted and for the few (2) people who were actually reading this blog on a regular basis, I’m sorry I went AWOL. I had no intention of taking a random and unannounced hiatus but it happened and I’m back now and my blog has a new look do ya like it?!?

It’s just that schools been a major pain in the butt. Like seriously, there’s so much work. Is this what adulthood feels like? Cuz let me tell you, no me gusta. Also it’s friggin cold as shiitake mushrooms up in here. Chicago weather is just…poop. It’s cold, and it’s cold, and it’s windy and it’s cold and I hate it.

Speaking of cold…

I am OBSESSED with the movie Frozen.  Have you seen it? If you haven’t seen it you should see it because its amazing and awesome and amazing and all the things here see for yourself:

The soundtrack is amazing, the animation is amazing, the characters are amazing, the little innuendos are hilarious and the whole movie is just beautiful. And the message about the bond between sisters is really nice too. So go see it.

Other life update type information:

TheTipsyElephant and I had a little valentine’s date and it was fun and stuff. She gave me an awesome card and I made chicken pot pie and forced to her make biscuits and it was stressful and awesome and we pretended sparkling juice was wine and we got drunk on happiness and fun times and it was all good. Except we had a “no gift” rule and she totally spent too much money on me anyways.

And in unrelated but equally random news, my parents decided that my bathroom needed to get remodeled so now there are four people using one bathroom for a week and it’s not fun and there are random people in my house destroying my bathroom and I hate it.

Also: I’m gonna try very hard to get back into a regular blog schedule. I haven’t done a proper “moral of the story” in forever. AND I’m still totally open to guest blogs if anyone is interested. Lemme know. Please. Pretty please.

A Boy Watched Me Sleep on the Bus

20 Nov

There’s this annoying kid in my math class who takes the bus with me sometimes. He always used to ask me about math class and walk me to my classroom when I got off the bus and it was the most awkward thing ever. And then one day he just stopped talking to me. And I was insulted yet relieved. But then today at the bus stop he sees me talking to this other guy (He initiated the conversation. Not me. I hate this guy too.) and then I don’t know if he felt left out or what be butted into the conversation and asked me about math (of course). So then I made polite conversation because I’m not a total bitch.

So then we get on the bus. And I don’t feel like sitting next to anyone so I go all the way to the back where there’s empty seats. My seat just happen’s to be behind this annoying kid, but I don’t worry about it and put my headphones on. And then I take a little cat nap. But what do I see when I open my eyes? HIM. He is turned around in his damn seat and staring at my while I AM SLEEPING. Who does that!?! (Besides Edward Cullen) And then we make awkward eye contact. And then he turns around and looks at me two more times.

Moral of the story: Maybe I should reconsider the whole hijab thing.

Photo Of The Day

11 Nov




You bet your ass I do! School is stressful. Essays are stressful. Stress is stressful. Here’s a blog post about stress: http://thetipsyelephant.wordpress.com/2013/11/10/titles-are-stressful/

Why I Hate Public Transportation

5 Nov

This post is long overdue.

This morning I was running late for the bus (…as usual) and somehow I got all red lights on the way to the bus stop. Now, this bus will take you from this particular stop, to all the way to my school. And I take the last bus going inbound. So of course it’d really suck if I missed it. Well guess what?!  I MISSED IT! The worst part is that the bus was right there. And I literally missed it by thirty seconds. Why? Because the stupid ginger bus driver is a …female dog (my mom told me to stop swearing). Further proof that gingers have no souls. My friend was on the bus. She said the driver saw me, but she gave no effs.

This bus driver is relatively new. There used to be two other drivers who were really nice, but she took over their routes and she’s a jerk. But its not just the drivers that I hate. Its the people riding on the bus too. There’s always that one person on the bus who just forces everyone to hate them. For me, its this chick who always rides the bus on Fridays. She talks on her phone the whole time really loudly. And usually they’re very personal, possibly disgusting conversations that no one wants to hear. Like how she got drunk and kissed a girl. Or how she ruined a wedding. Or how Amy totally got wasted at that wedding but don’t tell Josh what she said when she was drunk and don’t let him know that she’s smoking again. Or she will watch stupid shows on her laptop….out loud! Some people have zero manners.

And then there are the people who don’t take crap from anyone and scare the living daylights out of me. Every time I try to decline my seat, the large African American woman behind me kicks my seat. Mind you, I’m not that jerk who reclines their seat all the way back. I just tried to move two inches, maybe less, and then she started kicking my freaking seat. This has happen at least four times to me.

But worse than that is when you have to sit next to a stranger. Because then there’s the age old battle to claim your territory. Let’s get something straight. I’m tiny. I don’t take up much space. I’ve decided that this is the reason that… gravity generous people like to sit by me on the bus. Because then they’re free to take up HALF OF MY SEAT. I have nothing else to say about that.

The last type of person I hate is the middle aged nurse who sneakily eats trail mix out of her purse during the whole ride, then decides that shes having a hot flash and takes off twelve coats and pulls out a mini fan. But in my head I just call her GET YOUR ELBOWS OUT OF MY RIBS YOU WITCH.

Moral of the story: I hate public transportation, and that female dog hates me back.


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