Tag Archives: school

How to be Happy

16 Mar

Look, I am not an expert on this subject. In fact I’m last person you want advice from (even though I will more than willingly offer it to you). But I feel like I’ve figured a lot out in the past week. And after reading some of the things that other people have been writing on this site, I think it’s only fair that I share it with you.

For the past few months I’ve been unhappy. I wasn’t satisfied with any aspect of my life, I got jealous extremely easily, and I was struggling with controlling my emotions, specifically anger. I had convinced myself that none of this was any of my fault, and it was due to the fact that I had something wrong with me. I spent months taking online quizzes trying to “diagnose” myself with who knows what in order to find some sort of explanation, some sort of excuse for feeling so bad, for acting so bad. I convinced myself I had all sorts of problems. This went on for a while until I had a few rough weeks in a row.

And then one day I got into an argument with my mom and it was like a dam burst. There was a lot of crying and screaming, and then there was talking. I told my mom things that I’d been wanting to tell her for ages, but had held back for whatever reason. It was a conversation that had been long overdue, but seemed to be the solution to most of my problems. I made changes after that conversation.

After reading what other’s had to say about their own unhappiness, whether they thought it was because of boys, or parents, or friends, I encourage you to try a few things that helped me. I know they seem stupid or maybe hard to do or maybe even seem like they won’t help at all, but they’ve helped me a lot.

1. Pray.

If there is one tip that you take away from this post I’d like it to be this. Praying helps whether you want to admit it or not. Just try it. I will be the first to admit that I wasn’t praying as much or as well as I should have been. In the back of my mind I knew that this was a huge part of my problem. I understood the power of prayer and I know how much it can help. And literally the minute I started putting in extra effort, things started to get better. No matter what religion you are, God is listening to you. Don’t underestimate His mercy. Allah (swt) says: “Take one step towards me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you.” Hadith Qudsi.

2. Be willing to change/Trying

I know you think you aren’t the problem. Maybe you aren’t the problem. But the fact of the matter is that if the people around you aren’t will to change then it’s going to have to be you. I’m not saying you have to do something drastic. I made little changes. They were things that I didn’t even realize would make an impact but they helped so much. Like praying more. Or finding another way to deal with your anger. It was very small things. They were things that I wasn’t willing to do before, but I honestly feel like praying helped me do it. You have to be willing to try. It’s going to take effort, of course, but nothing happens without effort. You have to try.

3. Talk about it.

Whether you want to blog about it, or vent to your friends, or your sibling, or write it down in a journal, just get it out of you. Keeping things bottled up is never good. I kept keeping things inside and every once in a while I’d break down over something small. Having all these things in the back of my mind enabled even the tiniest thing to set me off, which only led to more problems.

If you want to go the extra step, talk to the person you have a problem with. This is probably the hardest step. It takes the most effort and the most courage. But most of the time they don’t even know they’re hurting you. And if you explain to them exactly how you feel and they still don’t want to help you, then they aren’t worth your time. That’s the hard part. You need to learn to stop caring about people who don’t care about you.

4. Get rid of everything that makes you upset.

For me this was mostly social networking. I hated seeing everyone’s great vacation pictures, or hearing what awesome things they did that I’d never get to do, or the fancy restaurants they got to eat at, or even just the fact that they got out of the house. And more than that, I hated seeing how many likes and comments they were getting. It made me sad and jealous and I felt pathetic. So I decided it was something I didn’t need in my life; I got rid of it. But for you this may be a bad relationship, a bad job, or even where you live. Do something about it.

5. Do things that make you happy.

I feel like this is something we forget to do. We get caught up in just trying to survive and get through our day or even our year, and we forget what’s important. We need to do what makes us happy because if we don’t, what do we have to look forward to? You need something to keep you going. For me this meant deciding to switch majors. Accounting was something I just couldn’t picture myself doing, and it was something I picked for the sake of picking a major. I didn’t know what I wanted to do or how to get to where I wanted to be so I picked a career at random. The result was classes I wasn’t interested, which led to bad grades, and me being miserable. I wasn’t excited about school, or the future, and I just don’t think that’s how it should be. And ever since I decided that this wasn’t what I want to do with my life, I’ve been more driven to do something different. My grades have gotten better because of it.

6. Stay busy/ have distractions.

Don’t give yourself a chance to focus on what’s bothering you. I’ve had a very busy week, and somehow that’s actually helped me. I didn’t have time to dwell on what was bugging me, if there even was anything. I had things to do and places to go and people to see and I wasn’t left alone in my room all day and it helped. I wasn’t focusing on myself. I had to help my mom around the house and make phone calls and meet people and I had other people to worry about. It was good.

7. Understand that you can’t control everything, but deciding to do nothing and hoping things will magically get better isn’t going to work either.

I spent so many months sitting on my butt and hoping other people and things would change so I wouldn’t have to. It didn’t work. I feel like the problem with people who are sad or unhappy is that they don’t do anything about it. I know it’s something that’s annoying to hear and hard to imagine, but it’s completely true. Tell that person how you feel, quit that job, delete that facebook account, or even move somewhere else. You just need to put in the effort.

Moral of the story: You’re never going to be happy until you figure out what makes you happy and try to work towards it.

OMG WHUT I’M BACK?! ALSO: UPDATES, LIFE, SCHOOL, VALENTINES DAY

19 Feb

Well this is awkward.

Hi. I’m baaaaaack. Didya miss me? Of course you didn’t. But now I’m back whether you like it or not so tough biscuits. I have no idea how long it’s been since I last posted and for the few (2) people who were actually reading this blog on a regular basis, I’m sorry I went AWOL. I had no intention of taking a random and unannounced hiatus but it happened and I’m back now and my blog has a new look do ya like it?!?

It’s just that schools been a major pain in the butt. Like seriously, there’s so much work. Is this what adulthood feels like? Cuz let me tell you, no me gusta. Also it’s friggin cold as shiitake mushrooms up in here. Chicago weather is just…poop. It’s cold, and it’s cold, and it’s windy and it’s cold and I hate it.

Speaking of cold…

I am OBSESSED with the movie Frozen.  Have you seen it? If you haven’t seen it you should see it because its amazing and awesome and amazing and all the things here see for yourself:

The soundtrack is amazing, the animation is amazing, the characters are amazing, the little innuendos are hilarious and the whole movie is just beautiful. And the message about the bond between sisters is really nice too. So go see it.

Other life update type information:

TheTipsyElephant and I had a little valentine’s date and it was fun and stuff. She gave me an awesome card and I made chicken pot pie and forced to her make biscuits and it was stressful and awesome and we pretended sparkling juice was wine and we got drunk on happiness and fun times and it was all good. Except we had a “no gift” rule and she totally spent too much money on me anyways.

And in unrelated but equally random news, my parents decided that my bathroom needed to get remodeled so now there are four people using one bathroom for a week and it’s not fun and there are random people in my house destroying my bathroom and I hate it.

Also: I’m gonna try very hard to get back into a regular blog schedule. I haven’t done a proper “moral of the story” in forever. AND I’m still totally open to guest blogs if anyone is interested. Lemme know. Please. Pretty please.

A Boy Watched Me Sleep on the Bus

20 Nov

There’s this annoying kid in my math class who takes the bus with me sometimes. He always used to ask me about math class and walk me to my classroom when I got off the bus and it was the most awkward thing ever. And then one day he just stopped talking to me. And I was insulted yet relieved. But then today at the bus stop he sees me talking to this other guy (He initiated the conversation. Not me. I hate this guy too.) and then I don’t know if he felt left out or what be butted into the conversation and asked me about math (of course). So then I made polite conversation because I’m not a total bitch.

So then we get on the bus. And I don’t feel like sitting next to anyone so I go all the way to the back where there’s empty seats. My seat just happen’s to be behind this annoying kid, but I don’t worry about it and put my headphones on. And then I take a little cat nap. But what do I see when I open my eyes? HIM. He is turned around in his damn seat and staring at my while I AM SLEEPING. Who does that!?! (Besides Edward Cullen) And then we make awkward eye contact. And then he turns around and looks at me two more times.

Moral of the story: Maybe I should reconsider the whole hijab thing.

Photo Of The Day

11 Nov

Image

 

 

You bet your ass I do! School is stressful. Essays are stressful. Stress is stressful. Here’s a blog post about stress: http://thetipsyelephant.wordpress.com/2013/11/10/titles-are-stressful/

Why I Hate Public Transportation

5 Nov

This post is long overdue.

This morning I was running late for the bus (…as usual) and somehow I got all red lights on the way to the bus stop. Now, this bus will take you from this particular stop, to all the way to my school. And I take the last bus going inbound. So of course it’d really suck if I missed it. Well guess what?!  I MISSED IT! The worst part is that the bus was right there. And I literally missed it by thirty seconds. Why? Because the stupid ginger bus driver is a …female dog (my mom told me to stop swearing). Further proof that gingers have no souls. My friend was on the bus. She said the driver saw me, but she gave no effs.

This bus driver is relatively new. There used to be two other drivers who were really nice, but she took over their routes and she’s a jerk. But its not just the drivers that I hate. Its the people riding on the bus too. There’s always that one person on the bus who just forces everyone to hate them. For me, its this chick who always rides the bus on Fridays. She talks on her phone the whole time really loudly. And usually they’re very personal, possibly disgusting conversations that no one wants to hear. Like how she got drunk and kissed a girl. Or how she ruined a wedding. Or how Amy totally got wasted at that wedding but don’t tell Josh what she said when she was drunk and don’t let him know that she’s smoking again. Or she will watch stupid shows on her laptop….out loud! Some people have zero manners.

And then there are the people who don’t take crap from anyone and scare the living daylights out of me. Every time I try to decline my seat, the large African American woman behind me kicks my seat. Mind you, I’m not that jerk who reclines their seat all the way back. I just tried to move two inches, maybe less, and then she started kicking my freaking seat. This has happen at least four times to me.

But worse than that is when you have to sit next to a stranger. Because then there’s the age old battle to claim your territory. Let’s get something straight. I’m tiny. I don’t take up much space. I’ve decided that this is the reason that… gravity generous people like to sit by me on the bus. Because then they’re free to take up HALF OF MY SEAT. I have nothing else to say about that.

The last type of person I hate is the middle aged nurse who sneakily eats trail mix out of her purse during the whole ride, then decides that shes having a hot flash and takes off twelve coats and pulls out a mini fan. But in my head I just call her GET YOUR ELBOWS OUT OF MY RIBS YOU WITCH.

Moral of the story: I hate public transportation, and that female dog hates me back.

How to Keep Away The Creeps

27 Sep

College is full of freaks. Remember that. Granted, I’m sure someone around here must think I’m a certified weirdo too, but that’s beside the point. There are always those annoying, socially awkward people who decide to latch on to you like a parasite just cuz  you were nice to them.

Brain: *But AMG, that’s how normal people make friends!*

Me: Shut up, brain. I don’t need friends.

Like I said, in college you will always have someone’s unwanted attention. Lucky for you, here are my tips and tricks to deal with all the weird people in your life:

1. The flirt:
The flirt is that one guy friend you make thinking he’s completely harmless and funny, but then everyone once in a while he’ll give you a flirty compliment or try to get you to hug him even though he’s not your type and you’re probably out of him league. For me this is the huge Mexican dude in my English class. Here’s how to deal with him:
- pretend you’re a lesbian: I’m not even kidding. You don’t have to outwardly say you’re gay, but just give off that vibe. Wearing a lot of plaid usually does the trick. Or refer to your female friends as your girlfriend, sit like a dude. You know, standard gay stereotypes. (**Note: I have nothing against homosexuals and I know they don’t all follow the stereotypes. But, desperate times call for desperate measures.**)
- if you aren’t up for playing gay, friendzone him. Hard. Talk about how you have cramps or call him your brother or tell him you’ve sworn off dating until you’re thirty.
- if all else fails you could always explain that you’re Muslim and you don’t date for religious reasons. But that’s not as fun.

2. The dweeb
This is the overly friendly, nerdy, awkward guy who more or less stalks you. He always asks you about that one class you have together and never anything else. He tries to follow you and walk you to your next class on occasion. More recently he’s tried to make jokes and be funny, but mostly he just stares at you from across the room. So what is a girl to do?
- you could always ignore him and act like a jerk until he gets the message, but that’s a little rude.
- be even weirder than him and scare him off. Mention you taxidermy squirrels on the weekend, or tell him you have a collection of chewed gum you find under your desks, or tell him your favorite candy is the earwax flavored jelly beans from Harry Potter World.
- or you could embrace it and enjoy the attention because really, when is the next time a guy is gonna give you the time of day? 

3. The girl who doesn’t know you arent her friend.
You ask this girl about the homework ONE TIME in class and suddenly she thinks you two are bfffls. She says hi to you in the hallways, saves you a seat in class, and asks you who you’re dating. Normally, this girl would totally be friend material, but its monday, you’re tired, and she is just So. Freaking. Peppy. So now what?
- refer to “The dweeb”
- keep her. She maybe annoying now, but later on you might need her.

4. The Lost Boys/Girls
These poor kids haven’t fully adjusted to their new surroundings, so they pick someone in their class (you) to cling to. They never actually speak to you, but they always sit next to you. It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t so inherently awkward. Like, they have an aura of awkwardness around them. They’re clumsy, nervous, and always look scared. There are only few things you can do in this situation:
- try sitting in a different spot everyday. If they still sit next to you then you might have an actual problem.
- again, ignore them.
- be nice and try to make friends. You’re both awkward and weird, maybe you’ll click.

DISCLAIMER: this was all said in jest and is to be taken with a grain of salt. I don’t mean to call anyone out or be insulting.

Moral of the story:

I am antisocial and I don’t care who knows it.

Friendship Is Weird

12 Sep

Isn’t it?

And I’m not talking about those random people you make friends with in class cuz you don’t know anyone else, although that can be weird too. I’m talking about actual, real, potentially life-long friendship. Its a strange thing when you really think about it.

Let me put this conversation into context: For the past three months I’ve been preoccupied with trying to “save” my friendship with certain people, and making the most of what was left of it with others. But I didn’t even need to. That’s the strange part. I met my two best friends in middle school. You know what I was like in middle school? I was dorky, ugly, and hopelessly naive. But somehow I managed to pick the two greatest people on earth to be friends with. That’s the weird part.

Its like, completely by chance, you meet these people. But at first you don’t think anything of it. I mean really, who goes into a friendship thinking “I’m gonna make this person my bfffl, and I’m gonna love them, and we’re gonna keep in touch in college, and they’re gonna come to my wedding, and my kids are gonna call them “aunt (insert name here) even though we aren’t related”? Nobody. That’s who. And as someone who’s been in more than a few toxic friendships, I never expected it to last.

But it did. Out of all the stupid decisions I made when I was twelve years old, I still made two very good decisions to befriend two amazing girls. I honestly can’t imagine my life without these two. I love them. I tell my friends “I love you” more often than I tell my parents (is that weird?). Our relationships have already withstood the test of time and distance, so I know that they’re the kind of life long friends that everyone dreams of. This whole time I was worrying for nothing. I thought I’d lose at least one of them when college started if not both.

But we’re still as closer as ever, if not closer. I talk to one of these girls literally every day. At this point its weird not to. But I don’t talk to the other as often. And somehow that works. She’s the kind of friend that I can go a month without talking to but its like nothing changes between us. And the other is the type that I bug with every little detail of my life and text all day between classes. I realize that that’s basically the perfect balance.

Damn, I’m lucky.

(Not to mention my sister whom I love very much, so please don’t get all jealous/pissed when you read this cuz you know you’re #1)

But its still weird to think about. Its like, one day you ask someone to be your partner in gym class, then fast forward seven years later and you’re both reminiscing about the day you two first met. I just think its so strange how with some people you just immediately click, and with others you don’t.

Moral of the story: If you’re meant to be friends with someone, it will never be hard to stay friends.

Dónde Está The MSA?!

4 Sep

monsters_logo_large

Its rush week at my university [for the sake a anonymity, let's just say I go to Monsters University ;)], so there was a massive activities fair going on all day. I have to admit, its pretty awesome. There’s free food and good music and all the booths are giving away candy or keychains or water bottles or something like that. They also had free funnel cake and nachos and ice cream.

Most of the booths were promoting sororities or fraternities, but a lot of them were clubs. Of course, the first thing I look for is where I can get free stuff ( I got sunglasses and one of those really nice plastic cups with the lid and straw). The second thing on my list was the Muslim Student Association. Naturally I gravitated towards all of the booths being run by hijabis or brown dudes with beards, but they were all booths for leadership opportunities or saving Syria or Palestine or some other third world country.

There were booths for Pakistani students, Indian students, Punjabi students, Hindu students, and Jewish students all lined up in the same area, so I thought I’d find my people there. Nope. No MSA. Monsters University is kinda known for having a lot of Muslim students, so i thought it was really weird that I couldn’t find an MSA booth.

I contemplated checking out the Indian Student Association booth, but I always feel self conscious when I try to enter the brown world. If you watched the video I posted a few days ago you probably noticed how utterly non-Indian I look. I tried so hard to get a tan this summer but that totally backfired. If anything I’m lighter than usual. And then no one believes me when I tell them I’m technically “brown”. Its quite disheartening. But that’s a whole other blog.

Anyway, I went back there twice and searched the whole place, but I couldn’t find what I was looking for. I’m starting to think the MSA disbanded to save the middle east.

Moral of the story: Free nachos and funnel cake is way better than any stupid club.

Expectations Versus Reality: College

1 Sep

I survived my first week of college, but I totally wasn’t prepared for it.

EXPECTATION: I’m gonna make so many friends!
REALITY: I eat lunch alone every day. Not a single person has spoken to me all week. I’ve also found that I have zero interest in making friends with these idiots.

EXPECTATION: I’m gonna meet a hot guy and we’re gonna fall in love.
REALITY: Boys don’t talk to me. I think I scare them all away with my constant scowling.

EXPECTATION: OMG college classes are gonna be so hard!
REALITY: Business Calculus is an insult to my intelligence.

EXPECTATION: I’m gonna work really hard this year and go to all me classes and do all me homework.
REALITY: I already gave up. Plus, no one gives a rat’s ass if you show up to class or not.

EXPECTATION: I’ll have so much freedom and it’ll be great!
REALITY: I have no idea what to do with myself. I wish I had someone to tell me what to do.

Moral of the story: College kinda sucks. And I am a friendless loser.

Slow The Eff Down!

27 Jul

I’m talking about life.

Is anyone else feeling this? Summer is practically over. You know what happens after that? Life happens. And I am definitely not prepared for it.

I have to be an adult now. At least, as much of an adult as my mother will let me be. Its still a scary thing to think about. I don’t wanna grow up. I don’t wanna get a job and go to college. I don’t wanna be responsible.

Its ironic, though. My whole life I waited for this year. I always thought I was gonna grow up, go to college, get away from my dysfunctional family, and have a great life in the city. In all honesty I’ve been secretly fantasizing about having that Mary Tyler Moore moment where I confidently walk down the busy city streets with my hands in my trendy coat pockets, then smile up at the sky and laugh for no good reason before tossing my equally trendy hat into the air.

Did I just lose half of you with that classic television reference? Sorry. I grew up watching TV Land.

Anyway, the closer I get to the first day of school the more I worry. What if I don’t make any friends? What if I lose contact with my old friends? What if I get mugged on the subway?

And as if the near future isn’t bad enough, my mother very casually informed me the other day that she expects me to get married in four years. Four years is nothing! And then what? Children? A real job? Total disregard for my own well-being as I become one of those wives who puts her family first without realizing that in doing so she’s let herself go? And what’s after that? Kids who will realize that they’re smarter than their own mother and will be embarrassed of me as I sit on the couch in front of the television watching Mary Tyler Moore reruns and wishing I’d gotten a Master’s degree?

Do you see what just happened here? I somehow equated starting college to becoming a fat housewife. In case you haven’t already noticed, I’m the worst-case-scenario type.

Moral of the story: Stay in school, kids.

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